Don't Tell Mum!

Wow! Eurovision is over again. And what a result - a Lesbian boarding school wins against a trash Drag Queen. Look sharp - unlike the German commentator surmises this is not the final win of an Eastern state, but the Gay Community reclaims their red-letter-day. Even the motto and decoration of the Finnish hosts was camp enough: "True Fantasy".

Besides, the ESC finally is an total European Mash-Up: Lithuania presented Italian tenors and Albania a classic bariton, some countries came with Hispano-Songs (f.e. Norway), the winning song is a French chanson. And the best with Marija Serifovic is that "Generation Otpor" did not only fight themselves the way to Democracy but now sung themselves the way to Europe. Well deserved!

 

So much fo the official program. But the best was the sideshow:

• Best band & best show: Apocalyptica and the additional freakshow ballet.
• Best self-mockery: The Isralian host when telling the points: "This land has pushed the button".
• Best voting of a country: Norway
• Best tongue-in-cheek: The dutch host "xx points go to Kelly Osbourne, umm, Serbia"
• Most handsome eyecatcher: Official Host Mikko Leppilampi
• Even more handsome: The Swedish host, who was friendly enough to present the Icehockey results as well

So don't worry. At least every artist can at least go on tour in his direct neighbouring countries. Maybe except of Ireland and UK. Ya basta.

 

By the way, I bet I know where most of the after show parties ended, at the infamous and great Lost&Found Bar. Don't tell Mum!

Thumbs up for THE ARK!!!

4 hours to go...

So don't tell you haven't been warned when THE ARK will seduce your nerves at the Eurovision Song Contest. Or rather keen on Gay Trash Camp Transvestites from Ukraine? Rather not. Not after this preview.

As the Semi-Finale already proved, the fans of Eastern Block post-folklore or whatever are more alert in voting this year than ever. So none of my favourites did make it to the Finale - neither Israel nor Denmark, Switzerland, Czechia or Andorra (Green Day in cute) did make it. Ok - who of a Anti-Semite-Surrounding in somewhere East would vote for a punkrock playing Jew who is actually good at what he's doing? *Sarkasm mode off again* What I especially liked about the Israelian band was their wit. But ok, they will make it anyway. As all the other good bands. Buy their albums. And read you tomorrow. And vote for THE ARK!

Vorfreude auf den Eurovision Song Contest (today's language: German)

"How do you think about Germany?" - "It's a shit country." Seppo Räty.

Seppo Räty sagte das mal in derselben selbstverständlichen Ehrlichkeit, mit der heutzutage Kimi Räikkönen Nervplauderer wie Kai Ebel zur Verzweiflung schweigt.

Die Deutschen haben 2006/2007 richtig gute Chancen, ihr Image gegenüber den Finnen aufzupolieren: Michael Schumacher ist endlich abgetreten (da mindestens 2,5 von 5 Millionen Finnen Motorsport-Fanatiker sind, bereits die halbe Miete auf dem Weg zur Völkerverständigung). Dei Deutschen haben zum Erfolg von LORDI beigetragen - da können sie ihn auch im Mai 2007 in Helsinki richtig feiern. Fehlen nur noch wenige Kleinigkeiten: Zum Beispiel mal wieder ein richtiges Ralf-Siegel-Lied, so dass vielleicht Schweden mit HammerFall als Teilnehmern gewinnt (das würde auch in Finnland für kaum geteilte Begeisterung sorgen, schließlich wär damit die schwedische Minderheit gleich mit unter dem Hut). Hach ja!

Was man sonst noch in Finnland bei einem Besuch tun oder lassen sollte, erklärt Markku in der Radio-Sendung Radio Free Finland. Welche Probleme zum Beispiel ein Messer löst... Der beste Podcast über Finnland, den ich je gehört habe!

The last and final LORDI: Everything Euro

OK. So why do I actually care about an event like the Eurovision - where there was no hip music during the last 32 years since ABBA?

Well, actually there was. At least in some of the last 6 Grand Prix. Ok, I confess now: I did watch Eurovision during at least some of the last years since 2000. And, I confess secondly - I mostly had a favourite. Well, not in 2005, that year way a major downer and the trend was between a major backlash towards the so-called good old times and the division of Europe into the disco-pop and naked ladies-loving countries and those old-school schlager affictionados. Unfortunately neither Wigwam nor Vanilla Ninja were an exception. Only things I could stand that year: Zdob si Zdub.

Ok, ok - if you're German you couldn't even watch the Eurovision without getting deaf dumb and blind before Stefan Raab took over in 2000. Well, after that it was the turn of the lame again, but it was a start... that there's other music than soft'n'sleazy pop ballads and boring pseudo-entertainment called Schlager. Yes, and there's Anoraks in Germany as well, starting with the commentator of the national television, Peter Urban (Commentary in German about him). These Anoraks didn't even get the humour of Silvia Night or LT United. I think all those Anoraks are fossiles and will not be there for long - the next Eurovisions will be about different musical genres, and the traditional Schlager will be the least of it - like Lordi already commented on their press conference. By the way, I posted my personal best of the last 10 years in Eurovision on iTunes.

Politics are seeking the sides of the monsters - Matti Vanhanen is cited even in Süddeutsche Zeitung.

After I already pdf-ed the German tabloids in the past postings, here's the best of the German press: The TAZ was pretty close to it in their prelimenary report:
"The conservatives are furious, that those Gothics show the world in Athens, what Finland is, too: A strange place on earth."

And were the most precise in the analysis afterwards. DER SPIEGEL is amused that Lordi still could shock - "when Alice Cooper dreams of Orks and Ozzy Osbourne of Klingons" same to another coverage in the same magazine.

More Eurovision, more LORDI!

Tonight LORDI celebrated their Eurovision success with a free concert in the middle of their hometown Helsinki (like already announced in Finnish television the day of the win) - while the "scandal" about the unmasked pictures in several European tabloids, especially in the Finnish tabloid "7 päiväauml;" is causing bigger outrage.

On the same time CHILDREN OF BODOM and their fans are outrageous about the posted canard on Englands THE SUN and "set things straight" on the band's homepage. Yes, COB are no LORDI. Who could fall for that seriously???

Funny enough by the way that no one really took care of the high-res pics published in BILD... But to get back to some serious coverage: Helsingin Sanomat went shopping with LORDI in Athens - and is still linking to the earlier article in which Finland was facing an apparent identity crisis. LOL!

As Janne Jalkanen put it: Anyone who promised to move to Sweden if Lordi wins: You don't have to." Right!

Some people brought up the question about how Lordi actually could win, even though there's big communities of Russian or Turkish or former Yugoslavian supporters are spread all over Europe: First of all, there was a "I vote for Lordi" sticker spread in every bigger Heavy Metal magazin all over Europe (f.e. Rock Hard, Metal Hammer Germany, Metal Hammer UK...). Second, even though the sales of their past albums were not this overwhelming, there is a certain sympathy in the whole metal scene all over Europe - and several people who have never watched the Eurovision did it this year. So LORDI wasn't a dime pathetic when saying: This is not only a victory for Finland but a victory of rock music. A victory of the minority!"

Appendix:
Links to all the videos of Lordi:

• Official LORDI video page at their label - watch "Hard Rock Hallelujah" as a clip
• The Eurovision gig on YouTube
• Press conference after winning the Eurovision
• Direct link to the press conference at BBC media

LORDI at the ESC: Would you love a monster man?

Would you?! Hahahahahaha! This is a big, wide, grinning cheers to Finland: Congratulations, Tomi, for winning the EUROVISION Song Contest!

This was not only the first victory of a heavy Rock band, this was the first Eurovision with a real Heavy Metal band participating (if you don't count WigWam from Norway and everybody a bit softer in this genre, of course)! Further on they won 292 points which is the highest score according to the official press statement by Finnish broadcasting company YLE.

The press statement reads like it was an easy highway to the top - but it wasn't. This victory was against all odds, made up by Finnish Authorities in parts themselves, the Athens organizers and many, many adding up to a big wall which Lordi victoriously climbed:
One really severe step were the pyro restrictions, a bill made by a company of fellow Germans. But the organisers of the Tuska Metal Fest and some other private funders took action to bring Lordi on stage with pyros.

In Germany the tabloids were heavily campaining: Old Schlager-Fart Nicole was given the opportunity to rant about Lordi. An article of it's own was made up against "Monster Awa" aka Keyboardist Leena.

But the frenzy broke loose when LORDI finally won the Eurovision: "Would they have won without the costumes?"
What a question? Would have KISS or SLIPKNOT have had their success without their costumes and make-up? Would some of the last 5 years' winners have won without their sex-appeal? Is earth flat?!?

So that's why everybody seems to be hunting for "unmasked" pics. But the results on that seem to depend. So did UK's THE SUN set their readers for a blunt canard (even though it's funny if you like Children of Bodom). Sweden's Aftonbladet is having really poor pics as well, so seems like BILD has paid lots more, see here the whole coverage. (Yes, it was my first try with the new scan-to-pdf function of our scanner...)

To be fair:
Every heavy metal fan all throughout Europe who at least could stand LORDI a little bit supported them in any way, and if it only was that he bought beer for his or her colleagues on one of the many "I vote for Lordi" parties. So it's a victory against all those Schlager freaks and anoraks, who were too undecided between "the ballad from Ireland" and "the old ugly singer from Sweden". But this is a different story told in a different article...